head sponge

My hair has stopped falling out.  Yet another fantastic result of getting my stress under control.  I was starting to worry that I’d be bald in a year at the rate I was losing hair.  Big clumps would come out in my hands when I washed it and Eli would have to snake the shower drain every couple of weeks to remove the cat-sized wads of my hair clogging the pipe. 

When I was working, it was important to always be fresh.  You’d never know when you’d be working with someone closely, and when you’re in a corporate environment your hair should always smell like coconuts or dessert.  Never dirty head.  So I would wash my hair every morning in the shower before work to get rid of any scents of living that would reveal too much about me, like that I cooked something with onions last night or I smoked three hundred cigarettes before bed.  I’m probably overly cautious, but my hair is a scent sponge. It is very long and coarse and these two things make for the perfect scent trapper.

But washing my hair every day was making it dry, so over the past few weeks I’ve been doing an experiment to see what happens if I stop washing it so much.  First I cut down to every other day, and then I started going a little longer occasionally.  But this week was the longest I’ve ever gone without washing my hair.  I went from Wednesday to Saturday—four full days.  And here are my findings:

Day 1- Normal clean hair.  Product: Tigi Catwalk-Curls Rock and Frisky Spray Gel.  Hair smells like coconuts in a mountain stream.  Curl is manageable, though a bit too much volume.

Day 2- Awesome hair.  Product: light spritz of got2b-curled up curling spray. Curls have settled down into perfection.  Good volume.  Head smells like a pina colada in a slightly smoky bar.  Not bad.

Day 3- Hair looks okay, smells horrible.  Product: nothing new added; whatever is in there is left over from days 1 and 2.  The maple bacon I cooked last night has infused my hair with the smell of Sunday brunch and I can’t get away from it.   Every time I turn my head I smell pancakes.  Roots are a little greasy but still decent curl formation.  I must remember not to stand too close to anyone today.

Day 4- Doll hair. Looks like Barbie’s head after being neglected at the bottom of the toy box for two years.  Product: N/A; any existing product has broken down into pure scalp grime.  The only reason I am not washing my hair today is because the baby won’t take a nap and I don’t have to go anywhere.  I am a pig.  Hair is beginning to form itself into dreds.  My head is itchy and now smells like old bacon and sweat.  If I can smell this myself, imagine what someone not attached to my body can smell.  Must not leave the house today.  Imposing ten-foot rule between me and every other human except the ones I live with.  Baby loves me regardless and still cuddles up close to me on the pillow and twirls my stinky hair in his fingers.  Eli gags when I tell him about my experiment and twirl around in front of him, brushing my dirty hair gently across his face.

Result: Hair must be washed by day 3—no exceptions.  ESPECIALLY after cooking bacon in the house.  How do the cats not stink?  They’re covered in hair but I gave them each a sniff test this morning and not a hint of bacon. 

I haven’t yet ended my experiment since it is now Sunday morning, day FIVE of my experiment, and I still haven’t hit the shower.  At this point I expect my hair to start pulling up from the roots and voluntarily throwing itself off my head, and I’m beginning to wonder if water and shampoo are even enough to fix what I’ve done.  My head may repel the clean.

Comments

[Jodi]

Good fucking god, I love you.