I'll miss you sweet pills

This is how I spent last night:

I have a special mug for tea and every night after the baby goes to bed, I make a big double batch of Sleepytime and hit the couch.  The mug is enormous.  To appreciate how large it is, you need to see it next to normal-sized cups.

The middle cup is my Hulk cup that I use for coffee in the morning.  It is an oversized coffee mug and the perfect size for lots of coffee but not so large that the coffee will turn ice cold before you can drink it.  The cup on the right is my Henry Rollins cup.  It is a standard sized coffee mug, and the only thing I use it for is caffeinated tea or coffee in the afternoon when I don’t want to get wired.

I started the tea routine when my doctor suggested cutting down on the caffeine to help with my anxiety.  Herbal tea relaxes me before bed and it is a hot drink, which I like.  And when I combine the tea with my before-bed pill, most nights by 9pm I’ve lost all muscle tone in my body and I am ready for sleep. 

The tea will continue to be a part of my routine, but I have to say goodbye to the pills pretty soon.  I’ve been counting them down for a couple of weeks now and watching them slowly dwindle in the prescription bottle.  The medicine I take at night is highly addictive and I’m approaching the end of my prescription.  I take a very small dose, only .25mg, which is barely enough to get a kitten stoned, but I’m reluctant to stop because I’ve been feeling great and I worry that any disruption to the routine will bring back the chaos.  I don’t want to ask for more pills because I know they’re not good for me and asking for more will make me feel like a drug addict.  On a talk show about housewives addicted to prescription drugs recently, my nightly pills were mentioned as a key player.  And I just don’t need that shit because one thing leads to another and before you know it you’re getting loaded before you head out to the park, sneaking your kid’s Ritalin and killing pharmacists to get your hands on their Oxycontin.  I watch Dr. Phil, I know how it goes.

But as far as being a housewife, I have that covered.  I accepted a part-time position last week and when the new year begins, I will be officially employed again.  I finally have a plan for the future that will not involve me sitting in my car for hours on the highway every day, praying for some asshole on a cell phone to mindlessly plow into me and put me out of my misery. 

So if I ever end up on Dr. Phil, it will not be as a star on the dysfunctional housewife show. And if I need any help to just say no, I will consult the little one.