time goes by

The days are going by so quickly lately.  I feel like I roll out of bed, spend a couple of hours doing stuff, and then it’s time for dinner.  Which is ridiculous because there are 12 hours in there that I’m not noticing. Yesterday morning I went to leave for work but when I got out to my car I remembered that I forgot to take my medicine so I ran back inside.  Eli and Joey were eating breakfast and Joey’s eyes lit up when he saw me walk through the door as Eli exclaimed, “Hey look Joey, Mama’s home from work already!”  The sad thing is, that’s what my life feels like lately, everything is accelerated and days pass by in a blur.

What is happening to all the time?  I remember when I was in school or when I was pregnant and feeling every moment of every day pass as though I was trapped forever in the present and time was standing still.  I wish for a day like that again.  A day with so many hours to fill that it feels impossible to come up with enough to do to pass the time. And just this week two people asked me, in casual conversation, if I was still living at home with my parents.  I don’t wear my wedding rings and I don’t have a baby strapped to my body when I’m at work so I guess it’s not obvious that I am much to old to be still living with my parents.  People who first meet me always assume I am a college student.  When I laugh and say that I live with my husband and my son I get weird looks until I confess my age.  As complimentary as it is to be told I look youthful, I’m getting tired of having this conversation.  Just as how I got tired of having the conversation about my military background.  “You were a soldier?” “Yes.” “No...” “Yes.”

I don’t fit my stereotype very well.

So it’s a small consolation that even though my life feels like it’s speeding away from me faster every day, my appearance doesn’t reveal my secret.  If only I could get rid of this nagging fear that one day the years will catch up to me all at once and I will age two decades overnight.