implementing the participation of process regulation development through corrective action intitiatives

Follow up to Wednesday: HR called me in the afternoon about a different position and sent me the description via email. And maybe I’ve been on brain meds too long and it’s causing me to get stupid, but I read it three times and I still couldn’t figure out exactly what the job is. There is no title, only a bizarre description that looks pretty normal until you try to extract meaning.

Here it is:

(click to look--if you have any insight, please share your thoughts)

It's like corporate balderdash. They are daring me to find meaning in gibberish. And oh I enjoy how the person used IMPLEMENT like four times rather than hauling out the old thesaurus and looking up another big money word to substitute like say execute or perform or a five-syllable bonus word like MATERIALIZE.

And basic laboratory theory?

Hey, I just thought of a new job I could do! I could write job descriptions that use lots of words, are vague, and impart absolutely no information at all! This is actually one of my strong points--making shit up on the fly. I could submit the research papers I wrote in my Taxonomy of Vertebrates course as writing samples.

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Comments

[Joshua]

It reads like a course description from my college chemistry days. I think the job title is probably "Lab Droid", or something equally demeaning. Oh, and not that I would know personally, but I've heard that selling your eggs ain't all it's cracked up to be...apparently it can be really painful.

[Jules]

That is a spectacular display of corpspeak! It sounds like a QC sort of position, with a heavy emphasis on being in charge of whatever computer programs y'all use in your business. And it sounds like a fancy way of saying you'll be responsible for making everyone else comply with a system that might be kicking thier asses. Of and it also looks like they threw every other little thing in there to round it out into a full-time-sounding job. If you find out what they really meant, can you share that?

[Jaeme]

I got the translation: Preparing solutions. Hahaha. Yeah the description sounds sort of like a QA position (which I definitely do not want--Im the last person anyone wants playing Big Brother)

A friend of mine was hired there a couple of years ago for a management job, and when he showed up on his first day they'd changed his title and job to something completely different. He gave his two-week notice on his very first day. I'm a little surprised because the company behind the games is well-known and very successful. But I guess that's why it's called CORPspeak.