countdown to doomsday

I am impulsive and I have a habit of doing things without completely thinking them through. The latest example is the course I found on the internet that directly relates to the work I’m doing and could possibly answer some questions and solve some problems I’m having with my experiments at work. I casually mention it to my boss, who agrees that it is definitely something I should attend, and suddenly the ball is rolling. The admin starts setting things up. She gets me registered for the course, she books my rental car, she arranges my expense account and books the hotel. And then she calls me at my desk on Wednesday to let me know she got a fantastic deal on the flight and will I be needing the service to get to the airport? And that’s when it finally dawns on me. The class is in Chicago. And I have to fly on a plane to get there. By myself.

I’m terrified of flying, even though I still do it when I have to. I just grit my teeth and let my body cycle through its ridiculous anxiety routine through the whole flight, to include heart racing, palm sweating and periodic impulses to stand up and start screaming. And then when I arrive at my destination, I'm so fucked up I need many drinks and a big nap to get my shit back together.   

And this is when I fly with someone. I can’t imagine what will happen when I try it alone. Which of course I will because I refuse to let anyone at work know that I’m afraid of flying. This would be a career ender since I’m pretty sure science happens all around the world and isn’t isolated solely to the Boston Metro area.

I have some anxiety pills left over from my post-partum days and with them I hope I can medicate myself to a beautiful state of calm enough to fly yet still conscious without going overboard and having to be scraped off the floor of the plane when we land.

And while I’m on the topic of doing things that I know will lead to intense psychological pain, Eli and I were watching a soothing documentary before bed the other night called Countdown to Doomsday. And one of the doomsday scenarios was about robots becoming intelligent enough to take over our planet. “The luckiest of us might end up in zoos, while the vast majority of humans would likely become pets.”

Jaeme: I want to be in a zoo!

Eli: I want to be a pet!

J: A pet? Why?

E: Because I could just lie around on the floor and sleep…

J: ????

E: And… have robots that love me….and give me treats…

I don’t think Eli wants to be a robot pet as much as he would really just like to be a cat. He doesn’t realize that the robots would not let him lie around in the sun all day eating fancy feast. They would enslave him and make him do horrible things that he hates. Like cook. Or clean things.