I have a perfectly good reason for not updating my journal for so long. The Soap channel airs two hours of 90210 reruns every night.
Eli and Joey just went out to Lowes, and I’m up here in my office trying to find ways to put off what I should be doing right now. I should be looking for a job, but I’m still in denial that it could come to this. I love my job. I know love is a strong word, but I really like what I do most of the time. Sure I have days when it takes everything I have to not choke my coworkers, but I guess that’s why they call it work.
I have a diverse work background and I’ve done my share of undesirable things for money, so it makes me appreciate how good I have it where I am. Mostly I appreciate the culture of personal respect. I’ve worked in places where the code of ethics is just a magical fairy tale you can read about in the HR manual but that no one really takes seriously. Of course it is difficult sometimes for me to function in an environment where I can’t tell someone they’re an asshole to their face without receiving disciplinary action, but there also is a distinct lack of tantrum throwing from others and I like that.
But my company is having problems, and I could be out of work soon. I knew it was bad in the meetings about layoffs when they told us that they’d be looking for volunteers. I knew it was horrible when my teammate offered himself up and his resignation was accepted. For some reason I thought my department would be spared. I’m sure the same way everyone thinks that their job is most important.
Anyway, pharma as an industry is going through a rough time right now so I'm going to expand my search to also include some less obvious career paths. I recently discovered that the FBI employs not only secret agents, but scientists too. And I suppose it wouldn't kill me to tutor kids or analyze soil or do any of the other weird jobs a person with my skill set is qualified to do.Though if I could just figure out a way to isolate and manufacture something useful to humans from squirrel blood or carcasses, I could set up my own lab right here at home and I wouldn't feel bad about killing off the squirrel community for violating my fucking birdfeeders every moment of the day, because it wouldn't be about the rage any more. It would be for science and the good of humanity.
So I have to look for something else, and I can’t believe I’m on Bostonworks again. I thought we were done for good this time.